Who will be top dog in the the Advertiser Tribal League?

Tue, Aug 06, 2019

It's back, baby. There will be plenty of cheers and groans as Premier League football returns to brighten up our lives this weekend.

Gonna take my horse out the old Tuam Road….

Thu, Aug 01, 2019

“Am gonna take my horse out the old Tuam Road…am gonna ride 'til’ I can’t no more.” Song is ringing in me head...written for me that was, written for me...where am I...oh, I’m here so I am, like. I’ve landed. In Galway... Like that Boris Johnson lad, head on me like an explosion in a bloody mattress factory. The clobber on me right out of Peaky Blinders, the kinda clothes me fadder's fodder would have worn like 150 year ago…Sun rises in the capital of culture…ate a clock in the morning…waking up in a crumpled hape…I’d need Hawkeye to see if I made it home at all last night…smartphone alarm beep beeps into me ear...one hand picks up and smashes it again the wall...not so smart now is it…Radio bursts on…Leo and Boris having a row over a catflap or a back flap or something...have I fallen asleep like and woken up in some posh boy's dream...I listen to him and his Tory mates and say in me own mind he shouldn't be fecking with the country that make the world's supply of Viagra and Botox... mess with us boy and there'll be no hard Brexit for ye but plenty of soft landing...the Brits will be pushing a car with a rope...’tis Race Week…where am I...recessed lights in ceiling shine into me eyes...discover me pyjamas have a hood in them and me in skinny jeans…fell asleep in the clothes again...where am I...not Mrs O'Brien's B & bloody B this year… an AiryB&B yolk which is basically paying hotel prices for someone else’s scratcher and someone else’s jacks…decided to mess them about by moving the pictures around and putting all the clocks back two hours...they've another little toilet beside the regular wan, like a bath for your feet so I soak the socks in there all night...need the cure bad...have to look me best...Limerick lads are winning Love Island so pressure's on...went to bed looking like Donal Og Cusack woke up looking like Dunphy...open shirt buttons and spray deodorant under arms one squirt for each oxter and one for the road with a shot for the lads below…ya can never take any chances like at the Galway Races…could be hit by a bus or a quare wan...head for the lift…close buttons, push buttons, and fella in the lift mirror does the same…state of me like…airyB&B and a kitchen with nobody’s food left in it…head for the morning cafe…hipster fella with a beard asks me do I want brunch like. I do in me...whole night I've been starving...says he can do me advocate toast or something strange sounding like that...throw back the lugs and dive in...twas muck...like eating a squashed apple through a sock...try to walk sober like, wan foot then the udder, repeat...I'm Racingman, I'm wide out…I’m part of Galway. I’m Racingman, the boyoh, unleashed for the week…I walk down the street like Travolta in Saturday Night Fever 'cept without the can o’ paint…baby shakin that ass... they're looking at me, the wimmen, can't get enough of me...nawthing like a pair of skinny jeans (no ballroom dancing for me) and a mismatched jacket and tweed jacket and braces and cap to get them going...down the square check out paddys ladbrokes boyles get the odds... and ends...too early to go out to Ballybrit yet...sit on bench and look at the pretend fountain that's never on…Arts Festival hippies taking down their own festival garden for atin’ hummus and talking through their…are sure it's great for them…sit on steps, legs sprawled……wink at young wan heading to work down town, get scowl but scowl back at her…then I remember MeTwo or what ya call it, so I stall the ogling’…cramps me style though bigtime...Me the man, Racingman...me the man…loads o’ young lads around…Anthony Ryan mustn’t have a confirmation suit left in his storeroom…Reach into arse pocket of me jeans……hand shakes but 'twould by now anyways Wednesday... some forren fecker with a guitar murdering Grace in the Square...where's Lee Harvey Oswald when ya need him…I…get the Racing Post...to look cool like…in the know…and the Star...I stink a bit bad, so dash into Debbinghams cosmetics section and when the posh wimmen staff aren't looking over, Racingman is lost in a spraycloud of Calvin Kyne, Packie Rabanne, and Ralph Lawrence eau de sweat…lash on the lot of them…the cognac combo….then a splash on ur hand to look like ya know your stuff…spray some on that little card yolk… doubles up as a toothpick…smelling grand...looking good, give the crown jewels a scratch…let me get wan thing straight and all that…ready for the road...ready for the course...hop into taxi...sit in front…legs sprawled…I’m the man…talk the talk…big happy head on me…air stinks of air freshener and stale conversation...Then he said something about a rising tide lifting boats…knows his stuff this fella…crabbing on about immigrants taking our wimmen, can't get jobs…and he's from Lagos...three ways to racecourse...green, blue, and red routes…an hour later we take a bit of blue and red and he drops me in a cowshit-spattered field near Castlegar church...walk that way he says... the brown route...and I walk...go to ring the boys but smartphone still smarting from batin' I gave it… walk straight...shoes covered in sheeeite...in the gate...Text the lads but they get back on WhatsUpp app thingy…haven’t used that since the time I WhatsUpped Mixer the story about Murphy’s father knocking up the nurse up the village and didn’t know I was telling’ the whole hurling club like…They’re at the bar they tell me...Get myself a selfie with the new horse statue...made by Brendan Behan they tell me...that fella must be 150 himself...Guard nods at me I nod back 'howya guard' what does he know... probably has a file on Racingman...Maybe a whistleblower will get it for me…the big happy Templemore head on him and eyes red-out from reading Pulse all night…lads say to tease them about the missing breath tests but I told them I will in me ....whole day looking around to see famous faces...no sign of Leo today…he was here Monday with a wallet with him. Feckin’ Taoiseach with a wallet…and maybe even a bank account…twouldn’t be like that in the Bertie day…Rakes of Galway hurlers and footballers around...saw them around the parade ring throwing shapes, ya wouldn't see the feckers up in Croke Park where ya'd want to see them this time of year...shouted up Mayo at them...Bumped into the Comer Brothers, was going to ask them for a touch after they threw twenty million into Galway United...never know which of them Comers is which so just chanced me arm and said 'howya Damien,' and they looked at me as if I was some sort of a feckin eejit...stumbled on...fine fillies everywhere...Saw the Lads, roared c’mon ye bollix at them, the boys from home…saw Ted Walsh too…twenty years since he rode her mother... Lads have quare wans' mobile numbers… they want 200 notes for an hour of the bould thing...lads laugh when I ask for group discount and take out me social services card….an hour I laugh, an hour of drinking time wasted...she says for 400 she'll bate me with a whip ’til I cry and give me a happy ending…told her I can get a batin' for nawthing outside the chipper…and if I want a happy ending, I can watch Frozen…and the lads laugh…Am great for the auld repartee, me Racingman. Me head's in a spin...hops into taxi and shows the driver lad the place where the AiryB&B is…It’s Lagos man again...more stale conversation...he's up from Carlow with all the other taxidrivers…takes me to Newcastle via Athenry…he knows a shortcut. Tells me he loves…drives me around town nine times to make sure before I push in door of AiryB&B and I crash on the couch but then there’s a thump and some fella shouting about getting out of his house and then I sees that I do be in the wrong Airy B&B.…but I love it. I love Race Week...and today's Ladies' Day. So I better have a bath...it's August.

The perpetual pursuit of soundness

Thu, Jul 25, 2019

They always say that the coolest person in the hospital is the ultrasound guy. And on the days that he’s not around, the next best is the hip replacement guy.

Ó Cuív slams delay in providing full orthopaedic services in Merlin Park

Thu, Jul 25, 2019

Fianna Fáil TD for Galway West, Éamon Ó Cuív, has slammed the HSE and the Minister for Health for the inordinate delay in providing full orthopaedic services in Merlin Park, Co. Galway where two operating theatres have been out of action.

Connacht Rugby has a chance to win silverware this year

Thu, Jul 25, 2019

Connacht Rugby has been given a reasonable chance of seizing silverware in the Pro14 next season after bookmakers released odds for the 2019/20 campaign. Defending champions Leinster are understandably the favourites to win the trophy, but only four teams have shorter odds than Andy Friend’s men. Munster, Glasgow and Ulster are all tipped to challenge for glory, but Connacht are next in line at 20/1 along with Scarlets and Ospreys.

Let’s not forget the architects of creative Galway

Thu, Jul 11, 2019

I have a secret fetish for architecture (just not so secret any more). I have been known to fondle bridges; to lose my breath over mindblowing overhangs; to stare at the steel ceilings of stadiums rather than the pitch and wonder just what allows 50,000 people to hop up and down without it all collapsing.

A tussle to end someone’s summer

Thu, Jul 04, 2019

In tribal sport, it matters to matter. There is nothing worse than not mattering, being seen as harmless; being seen as not capable of inflicting any damage on anyone but yourself. It is good to be part of the banter, to be able to slag your rivals, to joke about your own shortcomings, to participate in partisan oneupsmanship.

Time to slow down time

Thu, Jun 27, 2019

This year I’ve noticed more than ever the impact of the short summer nights, the long summer days, that brightness that nudges you awake at 5am and says, “look at me. See the beauty of the world that you are missing out on by sleeping.” This year more than ever, the weeks and months have flown by; the landmarks by which we stake out the year come and go like town-name signs on a roadway at night, and fly by.

THE 10th GALWAY GARDEN FESTIVAL WITH FOOD, CRAFT, MUSIC, STREET THEATRE AND A MEDIEVAL TOURNAMENT AT CLAREGALWAY CASTLE ON JULY 6-7TH

Mon, Jun 24, 2019

The 2019 Galway Garden Festival will take place on Saturday 6th and Sunday 7th of July, at Claregalway Castle. This will be the 10th year of this multi-faceted jewel in the Irish Gardening calendar. It will not only showcase the very best of rare and special plant traders from all over Ireland but also includes a wonderful programme of expert talks, the usual superb artisan Food and Craft arena and a host of musical entertainment and open-air performance.

All that is being left behind

Thu, Jun 20, 2019

I’m a news junkie. I would sit in the snow to hear a good yarn. As a kid, I used to place the big valve Pye radio beside my bed, wait until it warmed up and tune into Short Wave stations from across the world.

I’d scroll the dial from Hilversum to Albania to Radio Moscow to Luxembourg to the Voice of America. I would listen through the crackle at these voices coming at me from across the world, with their agendas and their accents. It is a fascination that has stuck with me, and I use every evolving technology to still allow myself this guilty pleasure. even if this means that we sign away a part of ourselves so that we are vulnerable to the latest news and influences.

The best karting tracks in the country

Fri, Jun 14, 2019

From go-karting to paintball campaigns courses, Pallas Karting Centre has everything to challenge the ultimate competitor of the family. Perfect for school outings, work parties, or stag and hen dos, a great day out is guaranteed for everyone at Pallas Karting.

Many’s a slip twixt the cup and the lip

Thu, Jun 06, 2019

During the local elections, I spoke to the partner of a politician, offering congratulations on the success and opining that at least now, everything would get back to normal in the political household; that the grass would be cut once again, the flowerbeds weeded, the hinges fixed on the ratchety door, and the kids getting to know the one parent who had been missing for three months or so.

“But no,” I was told. “Now is the worst time of all, because now the tension really starts.” The week or two after an election is when all the wheeling and dealing is done, when the crankiness is at its zenith; when the divvying up of roles in the new adminstration is carried out behind closed doors at secret meetings. It is the time when all forces come into play; party hacks and former councillors pulling the strings away from the glare of publicity. Playing new naive councillors, avoiding experienced old councillors.

And so the people have spoken...

Thu, May 30, 2019

Elections and election counts are like horror films or high-rides in a funfair. From a distance, they all seem like they might be good craic, but when you get into them, you kind of regret you ever did.

Enter the world of politics by voting

Thu, May 23, 2019

I remember leaving a polling station a few decades ago in my hometown and bumping into a friend who told me that he had just voted for the introduction of divorce on the basis that it would make “loads more wimmen available for the shift”. And boy, was he pleased with himself. Not really bothering to enlighten him to the fact that his vote would also free up more men to compete with his Lothario efforts, I let him off as happy as Larry, having voted for what was probably the most meaningful reason he had ever had.

The innocent joy of wonderment

Thu, May 16, 2019

It was around this time of year when we were kids that a vast array of nothingness spread ahead of us like a meadow with no walls. When schoolbags would be kicked into a corner for the summer, when evenings playing handball in the old ball alley would spread into days playing handball. When you would throw yourself back on the grass, stare at the heavens and wonder about things you had no notion of wondering about. Lying there watching the clouds move across the blue skies and wondering if it was the cloud that was moving or the earth beneath you.

And you knew that you wouldn’t be left there long wondering about wonderment because there’d be a shout from inside telling you of some job to be done. That there was no such thing as a free lunch or a free summer.

Ireland needs to stop mollycoddling businesses - Cormac MacGowan

Thu, May 16, 2019

Ireland ought to, of course, provide a welcoming environment for business and for employees generally. However, we ought not to be so accommodating that we reduce our people back to the conditions we suffered 100 years ago. A democratic republic is intended to shelter its citizens from the harshness of the world, and to provide a share of the benefits of the upside of the society and economy that we create, together. These are the primary purposes of democracy. Ireland is failing, miserably, in this respect. Instead - our governments have done precisely the opposite. They have, gradually, since the 1970s, transferred business risks onto ordinary people and onto the public purse.

The invisible strings that hold community together

Thu, May 09, 2019

Back in the summer of ‘82, when Paolo Rossi was setting the stones alight with his scorching display in the heat of football pitches at the Spanish World Cup, I spent the days picking cold stones from a wet football pitch in Mayo. In those days, when the offer of a job was as fickle as the tumbleweed that blew across our horizon, the Community Employment Scheme was all we knew.

And while I’ll never know if we ever made any difference with the stones we picked from what seemed like a field of stones, we felt like we had the impossible task of digging just half a hole. It was invisible work, probably invented by someone to keep us busy, to bend our backs, to get us used to the real world.

Exciting ways people can get involved with Macnas this summer!

Thu, May 09, 2019

Macnas is beginning advanced Stilt Performance workshops with an emphasis on Stilt performance using a mask, stilt-performance in acrobatics and in physical performance indoors and outdoors!

Fantasy Football round 38 preview

Tue, May 07, 2019

After nearly nine months and 37 rounds of action, the Premier League season reaches its crescendo this Sunday; Man City or Liverpool? Who will be the champions of England?

Away trips give a glimpse of home and community

Thu, May 02, 2019

It has been a horrible few weeks. At home and abroad, the news headlines are filled with tales of unwavering cruelty, of acts of violence, of terror, of domestic killing, of communities living in fear.

We see brazen acts of defiance against our policing forces, of daring raids that care little for the proximity of officers, or for the disruption to local communities. And when we hear of these things, we look deep into ourselves to try to find a piece of hope, a glimmer of light to give us belief in the capacity of the human spirit to overcome such darkness.

E-paper

Read this weeks E-paper. Past editions also available from within this weeks digital copy.