Family pressures at Christmas
It can be easy at Christmas to get caught up in this maelstrom of emotions and begin to expect that because it is Christmas all tensions and family disagreements should be forgotten. While Christmas is often a time of forgiveness and coming together, the pressures on families to have a wonderful time, free of stresses and full of fun, can be too much.
These expectations can be unrealistic and often cause additional stresses for the family, which could be the added extra that actually causes the bickering and fights.
Just because it's Christmas it is unfair to expect your children to suddenly start behaving like little angels too. It is a time of great excitement and expectations. While the imminent arrival of Santa may help to focus children's attention on being good, because of the anticipation and excitement children will be full of beans and raring to go. Call on your resources of patience and understanding and if you can — join in the excitement.
Christmas is a time for families and, no matter what type of family you are part of, your children's main needs are for security and a stress-free Christmas Day. While many will feel the need to fix any difficulties they may be having in their relationships within their family, Christmas Day is not the best day to try to solve any of these problems. The main priority has to be the children and their needs on this special day. So if there are issues that you think may cause problems on the day, look at ways of avoiding them.
Remember that no matter how much planning you put into Christmas and how you picture it will go there will be surprises, good and bad. While being prepared is wonderful, be equally prepared for plans not working out and not taking these setbacks too seriously.
Dealing with cries of ‘I'm bored’
Christmas can seem like a long period to have to spend together at home, particularly if you are looking out at rainy, windy days. It may help to break up the holiday period if you have a few special activities planned — be sure to include doing something special together as a family in your list of activities.
It may also be a good time to remind Santa to choose toys with some long winter days in mind. Your child may also miss his/her friends and it is probably a good idea to invite some of his/her friends round after Christmas to give them a chance to compare notes on Santa.
Change of routine
Christmas is often a time when children are allowed to stay up way past their usual bedtime. This can be fun and exciting for your child, but it may have some knock-on effects. Your child may become tired easier during the day and a tired child is often an irritable child.
If you are allowing your child to stay up late give him the opportunity to sleep for longer in the morning (no argument there, I hear you say ), but remember he may not make up for lost sleep by sleeping in. The reason for this is that it can take some time for children to get used to new sleeping habits, and while they are adjusting they may be tired and irritable. So while it is inevitable that your child will have some late nights over the Christmas period, try to be a little more patient with him if he is tired during the day.
Financial worries
Christmas is such an emotional time that we can sometimes leave our common sense at home when we go Christmas shopping. If you are on a tight budget you may be dreading Christmas and the added expenses. It will help if you plan ahead and decide on what your actual budget for Christmas is.
Remember Christmas is about memories and emotions, and money does not necessarily buy happy ones.
If you provide your children with an atmosphere free of tensions and fear where they are loved and cherished that is really what they will remember as adults, and the short term disappointment of not getting that 'impossible to get' toy will soon fade.
Wherever and however you spend your Christmas, the most important things in terms of your child's development and emotional wellbeing are the memories he brings with him of these special times. To a great extent these are well within your control, so have fun creating these memories with your children.
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