An organisation which provides care for older people in Galway has produced a handbook which provides advice on coping with issues which may arise for families caring for older parents at home.
The free publication entitled “Too close for comfort?” from Home Instead Senior Care Galway examines the emotional, environmental and financial issues involved in creating a multigenerational household.
“In Ireland where health services are being cut and personal finances are squeezed ever tighter many families are choosing to combine households with their senior parents,” explains Colman Gately, director of Home Instead Senior Care Galway. “Even President Mary McAleese has experience of this national trend as her father-in-law [now deceased] lived for many years with her family and moved with them into Aras an Uachtarain.”
He says of all Irish seniors who receive non-medical assistance 76 per cent live in their own homes and 43 per cent live alone. Some 21 per cent live with their children, eight per cent with some other relative but many are now considering combining households.
“But several generations living together under one roof can be difficult and must be carefully considered. A senior loved one who is ill or infirm raises an extra set of issues. Suddenly the adult child, usually a daughter, who is frequently already juggling the demands of her own children, household and a job, now has to factor in providing care for the senior too. As the senior ages the physical demands become greater, particularly if dementia becomes an issue.”
Moving into a new household is not easy and adjustments are required from everyone involved, stresses Mr Gately. “That includes the senior parent, the adult child (plus any other siblings ) and the grandchlidren. The new arrangement will impact dramatically on everyone in the house. If the senior requires special care or assistance, this will also have a further effect on their lives.
“As with most major life changes, preparation and communication is the key. Whether the move is prompted by choice or necessity, Home Instead recommends seniors should ask their adult children the following questions before moving in together.
“1. Will I have my own room or space?
2. What household responsibilities will be expected of me?
3. Will I be asked to mind the grandchildren and how often?
4. How much will I be expected to contribute to pay for household expenses?
5. What will happen to my home and any finances or savings?
6. Will changes be made to your home to make it safe for me (bath grab rails, etc, )?
7. Can I bring my pet with me?
8. Will I have a say in family social decisions such as holidays and weekend activities?
9. Can I entertain friends?
10. What happens if I need extra care?”
After the adults have discussed anything else of concern, the next step is to involve any grandchildren, he suggests.
“The most important thing is to set expectations right from the start. Every family member must understand what is expected and how they fit in to the big picture. They must all be allowed to share their ideas about how the situation might work.
“Safety is a big issue and you will need to look at the home to make sure it is suitable for a senior person. Watch out for rugs on wooden floors, slippery shower trays and baths, awkward storage arrangements, badly lit spaces, steep stairs. Make the necessary adaptations to ensure the house is suitable as a home for all generations.”
Many caregivers who live with the seniors for whom they care say they would like to change their caregiving situation, either by relying more on other relatives or on professionals to provide care at home, he outlines. The best time to discuss this is when you are considering combining households.
“This is the time to get your spouse and children behind the idea and to talk with your adult siblings. Just because you are the one opening your home to your parent you don’t need to take sole responsibility. Talk to your brothers and sisters and let them know you may need respite and or financial help.”
Free copies of “Too Close for Comfort?” are available from Home Instead Senior Care at (091 ) 384160 or by logging onto www.homeinstead.ie Home Instead Senior Care is the world’s largest provider of home care services for older people. It originated in Nebraska and operates in Japan, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Portugal, Spain, UK and Ireland. It has 650 offices worldwide.
