A Tuam-based priest has appealed to people to be more mindful of their words when offering condolences to families bereaved by suicide, warning that well-intentioned phrases such as “he is in a better place now” or “she is at peace with the angels” can carry unintended consequences.
Speaking at a weekend Mass in the Cathedral of the Assumption in Tuam, Fr Mark Quinn described the emotional toll of what he called “the most difficult week” of his ministry to date.
“In the space of just one week – seven days – I attended the funerals and burials of three middle-aged men,” he said. “Each one of those men had died by suicide.”
The Mayo native told parishioners that in the aftermath of those funerals, many people had approached him, struggling to make sense of what he called “the devastation of it all.”
“They asked me why Ireland now seems to have a terrible epidemic of suicides,” he said. “And I think we need to look closely at the messages we send, even in the words we use when we try to comfort others.”
Fr Quinn said that while comments like “he is in a better place now” were often meant kindly, they risked romanticising or normalising suicide as a “noble way out.”
“I know people mean well,” he said, “but it gives the impression that this permanent option is some kind of happy ending. Suicide is not a solution — it is a permanent response to what might have been a temporary problem, and it leaves a permanent wound on those left behind.”
Each year in Ireland, between 450 and 500 people die by suicide. Around 80 per cent of them are younger or middle-aged men — a statistic Fr Quinn said reflects a deep cultural and spiritual crisis.
“There are so many people out there who have no idea how loved and cherished they are by God,” he said. “We have created a culture that has told them faith and religion are outdated, irrelevant things. That message has left many people lost.”
Fr Quinn used his homily to issue a broader appeal to the media and entertainment industries in Ireland, urging them to “stop the relentless attack on faith.”
“The constant demonisation of the Church and of people of faith has resulted in thousands, if not millions, walking away from the one thing that can offer them refuge and hope,” he said.
“When people lose that sense of meaning and purpose — when they feel they have nowhere to turn — they can go to very dark places.”
He also criticised what he described as contradictions in government policy, accusing political leaders of speaking about mental health and well-being while advancing legislation that “tells us clearly that not all life is valued the same.”
“On one hand, we say we care deeply about mental health,” he said. “On the other, we pass policies that suggest life can simply be ended if we wish it to be. That inconsistency sends a dangerous message.”
Fr Quinn urged anyone who is struggling to reach out for help rather than suffer in silence.
“If you are in that dark place, please speak to someone,” he said. “Reach out, pray — even if it’s only a small prayer. Come to me, and I’ll pray with you. I’ll share some of my own story if it helps. The darkness doesn’t last forever.”
Fr Quinn’s remarks have resonated with many in his community, where suicide has left lasting scars across families and parishes. His call, he said, was not one of judgment, but of compassion — a plea to treat grief and despair with greater care.
