I don’t envy teenagers in the world we live in. Granted, outwardly they may seem to have many of the things that other generations could only dream of, but the possession of those riches brings with it added pressure to conform in levels unprecedented.
Yet, I was saddened and surprised by a survey which came out this week from the mental health charity Jigsaw which revealed that the vast majority of teenagers had not received a compliment in months. That a kind comment their way was not forthcoming says a lot about the restrained nature of modern interaction and the laissez-faire that many of us have about passing on a little bit of ‘sound’-ness to those we come in contact with.
It doesn’t cost anything to pass on a comment where it is deserved; or even if it is only half-deserved. A gesture, a word, an acknowledgment. In my experience, teenagers give it back in spades when they are the recipients of such light and water.
Being nice to everyone is in my opinion a basic requirement of your daily coming and going, but teenagers in particular, those caught between in the interregnum of childhood and adulythood, the lessons can be particularly rewarding.
Offering compliments to teenagers can have a profound impact on their mental health, especially considering the challenges they face during adolescence. Studies have shown that many teenagers rarely receive compliments, which is concerning given the importance of positive reinforcement during this critical developmental stage. Complimenting teenagers fosters self-esteem, encourages positive behaviour, and provides emotional support, all of which are vital for their well-being.
Adolescence is often marked by emotional vulnerability and a strong desire for social acceptance. Teenagers are figuring out their identities, navigating peer pressure, and dealing with academic and societal expectations. During this time, negative self-perception and feelings of inadequacy can take root, particularly in the age of social media, where comparisons are rampant. Compliments act as a counterbalance to these pressures by reinforcing the idea that they are valued and appreciated for who they are. Positive feedback, even on small accomplishments, can provide a sense of validation and help teenagers see their worth beyond academic performance or social standing.
Moreover, compliments are crucial for building self-esteem, which is an important determinant of mental health. Teenagers with low self-esteem are more likely to experience anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. A simple compliment can help them see the positive aspects of themselves that they may have overlooked. This encouragement is particularly significant during adolescence when self-doubt is common. Complimenting their efforts, creativity, kindness, or individuality helps teenagers build a more positive self-image, which can buffer against mental health struggles.
Additionally, offering compliments creates stronger relationships between teenagers and adults, whether it is between parents, teachers, or mentors. Adolescents often feel misunderstood or criticized, so when adults take the time to acknowledge their strengths, it fosters trust and connection. Feeling supported and appreciated by adults can make teenagers more likely to seek help when they are struggling, which is critical for preventing mental health crises.
The lack of compliments that many teenagers experience highlights the need for greater awareness about how we communicate with them. Intentional, sincere compliments can uplift teenagers and provide the emotional affirmation they need to navigate adolescence. By offering positive reinforcement, we contribute to their mental resilience and overall emotional health, making it a simple yet powerful tool for fostering their well-being.
And it also makes the giver feel pretty fulfileld too.
