Q. My son is 15 months old. He has slept in the bed with me since he was born. Now I would love to move my son into his own room or even into a bed in my room. He wakes a few times during the night and can go through at least two bottles of water. My mum keeps saying he is too young to take the bottle from him, as he still needs it. I don't think he needs it but I’m not sure that he is actually thirsty. Any advice on how to get him off the drinks at night and how to start moving him into his own room?
A. I think the first thing you will need to tackle before attempting to move your little lad into his own room is his feeding/drinking habit during the night. Generally the rule of thumb is that by around six months babies should be able to go through the night without a feed. As babies get older and continue to have the bottle during the night it can become a habit and instead of actually really needing the bottle they learn to feel hungry during the night. It’s called ‘learned hunger’. In general most would agree that the best approach to this problem is a gradual one, as baby does feel hungry or thirsty as in your situation.
You could begin to gradually decrease the amount in the bottles and increase the time between giving the bottles. Also if your little boy is falling asleep while drinking from the bottle it would be worth trying to change this so that he can settle to sleep independently of you. It may take a little time to get him off the bottle at night, but you will probably find that he will sleep better once he gets used to having no drinks during the night.
Then you can think about moving him into his own bed in his own room or in your room — whichever you are most comfortable with is fine. Also just keep in mind that the best time to try to change routines is when you have some time off or over a long weekend as it’s best to try to avoid disrupted nights when you have to perform at work the next day.
You have two choices on how to approach getting your boy to settle in his own room. Of course you may not have to do either of these at all — he might just love having his own bed from day one and, hey presto, it’s done! However if it doesn’t work out like that for you, your choices are as follows: Either insist from day one that he stays in his own room/bed, or take a more gradual approach..
As the name implies a gradual steps approach is divided into small changes that are made to the child's routine, each bringing the child and parent closer to their goal. This programme is worked out by recording what is happening currently and then recording what is being aimed for. Then you decide on small changes that can be made to the current routine to get progressively closer to that aim.
The idea is to start with the first small change and only move ahead when your child has adjusted — usually after three or four nights. This approach is particularly good when it comes to trying to work out how to settle a child to sleep without needing a parent present.
Here would be an example of the steps you could take:
Your little boy falls asleep in his own bed with you stroking his head and talking to him.
Your little boy falls asleep with you sitting beside his bed just talking to him.
Your little boy falls asleep with you sitting beside the bed, just talking sometimes.
Your little boy falls asleep with you sitting beside the bed.
Your little boy falls asleep with you sitting a little further away from the bed (towards the door ).
Your little boy falls asleep with you sitting further away from the bed.
Your little boy falls asleep with you sitting just inside the bedroom door.
Your little boy falls asleep with you popping into his room at steadily increasing intervals.
Your little boy falls asleep independently
You may find that you don’t have to take as many steps as above to get to your goal — you will need to take it at your child’s pace, moving on to the next step only when he is used to the previous one.
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