Many people, both students and adults feel powerless and it may be due to some of the following:
• Worry about college.
• The uncertainty of the Leaving Cert.
• Parents/guardians caught up in the recession.
• The current Covid 19 restrictions and lockdowns.
• Trapped in a job where they feel undervalued.
• A job where there is little or no job satisfaction.
• They do not feel good about themselves.
• They are in unhappy/unfulfilling relationships.
• They have given away their power.
It is crucial to find a way to reduce this feeling of powerlessness in our day-to-day lives. Feeling powerless stops you from expressing what your needs are, as you feel that you have no control over the decisions that are made for you.
Many of the reasons that we feel powerless have to do with self-image and how we perceive how our peers or significant others see us.
Giving away your power
This is a process that in many cases happens over a long period of time, and sometimes it can take years for us to identify what is happening. It may have happened as far back as playschool. It gradually creeps up. We give away our power if:
• We are people pleasers.
• We follow the crowd.
• We think other people’s opinions/actions matter more than ours.
• We are in an environment where our voice does/did not matter.
• We see others as being more powerful than us, and we allow them to take charge of our life. For example bullies will bully because, on some level, they are afraid that people will see them as weak. They will bully to fulfil needs such as a need to feel safe, need for risk, the need to feel important because they don’t feel important, maybe even a need for love, and they perceive that the followers in their gang will give them a sense of love. They may feel they will have a voice if they bully.
The consequences
If you give away too much of yourself it will affect your self-worth, and because of this it feeds into your feelings of powerlessness. Some people go into victim mode, sometimes it is easier to do this, and they worry all the time. They forgive people who abuse them, they tolerate the intolerable, and as a result they can bring suffering on themselves. People who give away their power have done so voluntarily even though they may not realise it, they keep finding excuses to continue in the victim mode and to keep themselves in this pain and suffering, this stunts their personal growth.
How to overcome those difficulties and achieve a sense of empowerment again
It is never too late to start, as powerlessness can affect anyone at any age, and taking it back can start at any age also. The first step is in getting to know you. It starts with a vision of your “core self”. You need to put yourself at the centre, have your actions/inactions thus far served you well? You need to become the author of your own destiny, your own creation, which is the exact opposite of being the victim. You live your life by your rules and not the path authorised by others.
Set goals
Goals require time and focus. Make them realistic to avoid disappointment. Start by getting to know yourself. Surround yourself with positive people who have your back, and who will help you achieve your goals. Get to know yourself, your core, keep telling yourself that you deserve more and better things. If those better things are good for your personal and professional growth, then you are on a positive path, a path which will include, love, self-worth, appreciation, and non violence. Move away from fear, lack of control, anger, prejudice, and perhaps over time, addiction. This is the ultimate power, it will serve you and it will raise your vibrations. Keep telling yourself every day that you are worth it, that you are worth a lot more than you had given yourself credit for. You can only do this and you can only achieve your goals by taking action.
Become creative
Become creative by coming up with different ways of looking at your situation. For students, look to your parents/guardians, your teachers, your guidance counsellor, and your peers. See them as people who are there to support and help you. Do not be afraid to ask for help and direction, however if you do not know what you want, how can you ask for it?
They may give you many insights which will lead you to discover new possibilities to explore. The fog will start to lift and a light will start to appear at the end of the tunnel. You are now well and truly on the road to moving forward. You will no longer feel powerless. You will develop new habits. The most important goal in all of this is for you to allow yourself to forgive, forgive yourself for allowing you to go down a path of being a victim and suffering. Look out for the signs of positivity around you; they are there, look out for little gestures and compliments which were always there, but that you had not allowed yourself to take on board.
Identify your natural talents and abilities; use these to help you now. Think back to a time where you used those talents and abilities and think of how you felt physically and emotionally in your body. Refocus on solutions. Start with one specific goal and master that, the rest will follow.
