When people power meets petrol power

Thu, May 13, 2010

Have ya ever seen the Government move as fast on anything as they did on the head shops. All it took were a few phone calls to Joe Duffy and you didn’t even have to be from Clontarrrrrrrrrrrfff Joe and hey presto, they’re introducing legislation that came into force, not tomorrow, but yesterday. That’s the type of Government ya need. Introducing laws so fast that they’re in force by the time you get to hear about them. All around the country on Tuesday morning, poor Hans and Jurgen and Johann with the funny hair who ran the head shops had to draw up “Closed Til Further Notice” notices so much on the hop they had been caught by our ultra quick fast reacting Government. Mary Harney, a woman who wouldn’t be in the FloJo league when it comes to turn of speed, had the laws in by the time that Hans and Johann and Jurgen had gone to bed, and by the time the dawn broke over the headshops and they looked through the hazy scene that was their lovenest, they were no more. And if Hans and Jurgen and Johann thought they were going to just shut up shop for a few days to give them time to change the name of the legal high to Ohjaysisthisisgreatdylhide, fast Mary had out-thought them on that too. She had the clear head, ya see. She wasn’t smokin’ any of that auld foreign shite. When she’s overseas, she doesn’t go into the brown cafes. No, she goes to the hairdressers and probably the nice muffin shop next door. She wrote into the law that any drugs that have their names changed and that the guards think are a bit funny can be deemed illegal as well, so now go away and put that in your pipe and smoke it, she told them, smug as anything. She might be leaving Granny for 72 hours on a shopping trolley in Casualty our Mary, but she put it to those foreigners with their head shops

Is Cam/Clegg relationship manna for political idealists?

Thu, May 13, 2010

The election campaign across the water which has hogged our TV news bulletins for the past seven days turned out to be far more intriguing than any of us could have imagined. And of course, it has started to whet appetites on this side of the pond for the day when we too get the opportunity to vent our feelings and express our opinions electorally on how we think this country has been and should be governed. Britain, like ourselves is currently experiencing an economic crisis, but it has the greater population base and natural resources from which regeneration is more possible. The Irish have always had a keen interest on the personality of the occupant of 10 Downing Street, more so in the past when there was an inclination that a Labour incumbent complete with working class backing would take a greater interest in the “Ireland question.” Now that peace has broken out in Northern Ireland that factor is less pressing and so for the first time in generations, we are able to look at the British election through fresh eyes and not through the narrow prism of our own terrible issues.

Is taking Tuam’s archbishop the last straw?

Thu, May 06, 2010

I’ve a great auld grá for Tuam. It was there I cut my teeth in the manic world of wordmaking. A proud town, with great characters and great music and great poetry, it was forever getting a lash. If there was a lash to be had, Tuam would be first in line. It lost its sugar factory, its railway. Major industry was never comfortable there; its historic football stadium was allowed to rot while a shiny new one was built in an awkward location in the city, and politically, it was always an afterthought rather than a focal point.

Clash of the ash could cost us cash

Thu, May 06, 2010

While the arrival of the ash cloud from the Icelandic volcano a few weeks ago might have been viewed as one of the novelties of time that history throws up again now and again, its reappearance this week could cast a darker cloud on the Irish economy.

Cregmore crash could have been horrific

Thu, Apr 29, 2010

The scene of devastation that was left in the grounds of Cregmore NS, near Claregalway yesterday, was an indication of just how close this was to being a terrible tragedy involving a massive loss of life. According to reports, children were pulled out of the way of the oncoming truck as it ploughed from the road and through the school boundary, ending up destroying several cars. It was a scenario of potentially horrific proportions that happened as schoolchildren were being collected by their parents.

Let's Do It…..Connacht

Thu, Apr 22, 2010

John Killeen and company of Let's do it Galway set a benchmark in hosting global sporting events in the city. In less than two weeks, another sporting event - albeit a European one - will be held in the city. Connacht Rugby may be the fourth and poorest province in Ireland, but the occasion of hosting a European semi-final is one of which the city, county, and province should be proud.

Let us not lose Galway-ness

Thu, Apr 15, 2010

In case you haven’t noticed it, the large section of the paper that has just fallen on your shoe is a 72-page magazine which we have produced to mark the fact that on this day 40 years ago, the first issue of the Galway Advertiser hit the streets. At the time, it was deemed crazy that a product could be given out free on such a mass scale and as you can imagine, predictions of its demise came thick and fast. However, it has stood the test of time, hence today we carry the baton into the fifth decade.

Jumping headfirst into middle age

Thu, Apr 08, 2010

Phew. That’s it. That’s the last issue of the first 39 years of the Galway Advertiser completed. from next week, the newspaper turns 40. Which means it will be probably have to be grumpier and slightly more balding. It will have to moan and groan even more, and have the odd midlife crisis.

Jumping headfirst into middle age

Thu, Apr 08, 2010

Phew. That’s it. That’s the last issue of the first 39 years of the Galway Advertiser completed. from next week, the newspaper turns 40. Which means it will be probably have to be grumpier and slightly more balding. It will have to moan and groan even more, and have the odd midlife crisis.

Toddler death was every parent’s worst nightmare

Thu, Apr 01, 2010

In what must be every parent’s worst nightmare, the shock at the death of the little toddler in the accident at the weekend has sent shivers down the spines of us all. The horror of the moment is in all of our minds, but this must be a terrible period for the parents and family of little Oskars Dauksts.

End of the Teo show as Eamon gets a proper job

Thu, Mar 25, 2010

Dear Eamon,
First of all comhghairdeachas on your appointment. Can I say how glad I am that you’ve been moved from that Godforsaken department where every time I wrote to you for a few bob, I had to let on be a gaeilgoir, gathering up phlegm in the throat and rattling off a rake of focails just to give the impression that I was worthy of the many grants you threw me way. Even when they answered the phone, they hit me with some questions in the gaelgish when all I had was “Ta me go maith. Now, an bhfuil Eamon there?” But no, that was never enough for them, They always kept going, asking me if I thought you’d know what I’d be calling about. When we all know that the only type of calls you ever got were for the grants. I used to say “Deaglan anseo from (fill in the blank) Teo. Once they heard the word Teo, they knew I was ringing about the cash and put me straight through.

Reshuffle leaves us distinctly underwhelmed

Thu, Mar 25, 2010

You know that when the depiction of Tony Killeen and Pat Carey are presented as the bright new hopes for any project, that there is bound to be a certain amount of disappointment, but the Government reshuffle that was presented to us this week as the beginning of a new era leaves us distinctly underwhelmed. Competent ministers they may well be, but the grounds for their promotion are based more on loyalty rather than any any great aptitude for the job in hand.

Snakes and rape victims being told to go quietly — nothing’s changed

Thu, Mar 18, 2010

The more things change, the more they stay the same — 1500 years after they were expelled from this country, exiled snakes and their descendants have broken their silence on the move by Welsh churchman St Patrick to drive them from this country.

Who can we now trust in the Church?

Thu, Mar 18, 2010

The revelations this week that Cardinal Sean Brady sat in on and conducted interviews with traumatised victims of child rape, believed their story to be true and failed in his moral, Christian and legal duty to inform the gardai, is a true indicator of the extent of the level of denial that exists in the Catholic Church regarding the culture of secrecy.

The Boy With The Dragon Yahoo and other Swedish things

Thu, Mar 11, 2010

SOMEWHERE in Dublin. Probably Buswells. A Wednesday. Around teatime. Cups are clinking. A man stands up on a chair. Silently, a grey cat breaks wind and spits into a fire. Simultaneously. The man talks.

Tis great to be thick and poor again.

Thu, Mar 04, 2010

At the start of the nineties, with the last chords of ole ole ole croaking from our throats, and the whole world knowing that we were great craic, complete with a copy of The Joshua Tree under our arms, we sat down to see how we could all be taken more seriously across the world. For decades Paddy had been seen as the man with spuds growing in his fingernails, with the next fight just an utterance away. Now that we were universally acclaimed as being great fun to be with, all we needed to join the world was a bitteen of wealth and a bitteen of education — the two things our forefathers had fought for in the GPO.

The times we live in

Thu, Feb 25, 2010

Ya know the world is not right when Irish politicians are resigning on the grounds of principle...without any video or audio evidence...when the Greens are the ones who are caught out being unlawful...when Tiger Woods is pretending to be human and is saying sorry to everyone but the scores of mistresses...when Willie O’Dea is giving out about people kicking a man when he is down. Ya know the world is not right when Mayo beat Galway...twice...in a row...without even trying. Ya know the world isn’t right when the Galway footballers are dying their hair blond...and they not even knowing Michael Jackson. Ya know the world isn’t right when hurling fans in Tipperary hand the GAA €150,000 on a snowy Saturday night, be tormented for an hour or so, and then head off home into the night without seeing any hurling or without getting any of the cash back. Twice. Will we get a receipt? Will we f... ya know the world isn’t right when Galway club hurlers have to go to the High Court to get a victory...Ya know the world is not right when ya realise how long it took for Cheryl to realise that Ashley is a twat. And we all knowing that for years. Honest. Ya know the world is not right when ya realise that it’s costing the Guards €10,000 to police rag week in Galway and leave a state of the art policing buggy in the Square to do the job when criminals are shooting each other across the country... Why don’t they just give the money to charity and tell all the students to stay at home...ya know the world isn’t right when despite all the policing, rag week students behave themselves...ya know the world isn’t right when Enda Kenny is trying to find himself and then be that person...and then finding out that that person is a cross combining Roy Keane, Ena Sharples and Arnold Schwarzenegger...ya know the world isn’t right when Jedward tickets sell out in 15 minutes which is probably 12 minutes more than the material they have...ya know the world is not right when the last connection with Wanderly Wagon goes to his eternal reward and when the first person you meet (on ‘Judge’ment day) in the afterlife is Bosco...ya know the world is not right when ya hear that an unelected Green can tweet us all into distraction...when the Bishops are asking us for their forgiveness...when Thalimidomide survivors can’t even get a grant to help lock their homes while a directly elected mayor will have a staff of 30...ya know the world is not right when Ronan O’Gara writes to newspapers to complain about them complaining about him...ya know the world is not right when the Irish bobsleigh team don’t come last in the Winter Olympics and when Irishman Mikey Graham is still in the running to win Skating on Ice...ya know the world isn’t right when Michael O’Leary comes over all patriotic and caring...So how could we be anyway but the way we are?

Irish politics is a bit like The Sopranos

Thu, Feb 25, 2010

Over the past fortnight, Irish politics has resembled the final episodes of that classic crime drama The Sopranos. As that series rumbled to a climax, all it took was one stray bullet to set into train a series of events that saw one character after another take a hit.

Pope’s blame misplaced as Irish faith was at its strongest when abuses were carried out

Thu, Feb 18, 2010

Abuse victims are hurting again this week at the apparent disregard of the Vatican for their suffering at the hands of paedophile priests and religious over decades in Ireland. While they may have been naive in thinking that the Church would change the habits of a lifetime and stage some sort of public lynching, the lack of any obvious compassion or regret by the world’s senior churchman has struck a sour note, not only in the minds of victims, but among all those who were viewing this meeting as a turning point for the Church.

Lee farce ruins chances of commoners in mayoral polls

Thu, Feb 11, 2010

There probably could not have been a better week for the Government to pass its laws on directly elected mayors. The idea of such a scenario has sent shivers down the spines of politicos for some time, given the fear that these seatsmay end up in the hands of what the royals might call ‘commoners’

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