On the Six-One News this week, the son of a woman murdered in her bedroom by her husband, encouraged victims of domestic violence to seek help.
Through the Garda who spoke on his behalf, he was keen that others would not suffer the same fate his mother had - a caring act from a very traumatised grieving young man on behalf of himself and his brothers.
The gardaí had called to his home on five previous occasions due to violence, and the husband had a previous conviction for knife crime against his neighbour. The woman and her sons had asked for help, but how effective was the response? How effective or substantial were the punishments for past violent behaviour and crime? They were clearly ineffective as the man went on to murder his wife, and threaten to murder his son if he intervened.
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I feel the gardaí could be much more prepared and the narrative needs to change. There is nothing to lose and all to gain. I am not an expert in this area and would welcome their input.
Changing the narrative
We could suggest that those suffering with anger issues seek help, and provide links to services and programmes to educate them about anger, its source, manifestation, and outcomes, and, most importantly, how to change that inner dialogue.
We could encourage the teaching of negotiation and empathy skills, and in times of added stress, have contacts and supports to see a person through without resorting to violence.
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We could say, ‘Walk out your front door immediately if you feel anger and violence erupting’, and ‘Move out entirely if you feel like hurting your partner or children at this time’.
Some might think I am being naïve but we have to start changing the narrative that only the victim can act or has responsibility for changing a violent situation.
Martina O’Connor is the deputy mayor of Galway city and the Green Party councillor for Galway City Central.
