Mentalk
Well much has been made over the last few days about what men talk about on the golf course and in particular what Biffo and Fitzy discussed. The official line is that nothing serious regarding loans or Anglo Irish was discussed. From my own experience of male communication, there’s no doubt that men can spend hour after hour together while only making faint indirect reference to the elephant in the room, or on the golf course in this case. God help us, I remember me mother often asking me after I’d come home from a day working in the bog with the father about what we had to talk about.
“Just the weather, turf, and farmin’.”
She’d look at me with disbelief.
“Six hours in the bog and that’s all ye talked about?”
Sure it’s hard for a woman to believe. You can be sure if it was two women workin’ together they’d never stop talking but there might be damn all turf footed. Anyway I’m inclined to believe Biffo when he says they never spoke of banking, etc, they’re men for God’s sake.
Not that it matters all that much what they did or didn’t speak about because Biffo will no doubt be the next to opt into the Fianna Fail TD scrappage scheme and he’ll have plenty of time to play golf with Fitzy then and talk about as many elephants in the room or outside the room as he likes.
Enda’s low profile
Wasn’t it interesting the way the Dublin media got exercised about Enda’s silence and low profile over the last couple of weeks? It seems they miss him after all when he’s not around. Who knows, sure they may even find something half decent to say about him some day soon now that the great ‘Dublin hope’, Eamon ‘Labourious’ Gilmore has shown himself to be quite bland and lacking in charisma. I suppose it doesn’t help Eamon’s cause when you see Pat Rabbitte all over the media every other day putting in strong performances and you have to remind yourself that for some reason or other Pat is no longer the leader of the Labour party.
Bad with the nerves
Poor aul’ Georgie Barrett is bad with the nerves again. There’s some sayin’ it’s a definite breakdown this time but Wally ‘the wart’ Walsh was havin’ none of it in Pa’s last Wednesday afternoon.
“It’s no breakdown, it’s a breakthrough, these times people have breakthroughs not breakdowns.”
Accordiing to Wally they’re very popular in America:
“Sure you’re no one in America unless you’ve had a few breakthroughs. It’s a badge of honour lads, proof that people can change.”
Wally reckoned he had a severe enough aul’ breakdown himself during his time in America. Apparently he was going out with this wan for four weeks and things were goin’ grand when he discovered she had appendages downstairs as well as upstairs.
“I recovered eventually Larry and got on with things.”
Recovered he did and he’s the finest. He never married or bothered a woman in all the years we’ve known him so you’d wonder about that. Anyway Georgie Barrett reckons there’s an alien race arriving on earth within the year from the Andromeda galaxy and that we will all become their slaves.
“They’ll treat us awful bad Larry, we’re leaderless now so we’re ripe for colonisation. They will look exactly like us, Larry, so they’ll take us over in no time. A few of them are knockin’ around already and some of them are Fianna Fáil sympathisers, would you believe that Larry.”
God help us aren’t things bad enough already, I suppose we should have known that the FFers wouldn’t go quietly but would try and reinvent themselves as extraterrestrials to hang onto power.
You can contact the column at [email protected]
