A recent survey of family caregivers on caregiverstress.com revealed that more than half of the respondents (51 per cent ) said their ageing relative resisted care. These seniors often object to help whether it is from their own children or a professional caregiver who tries to come into their homes to assist.
“This is a real problem for family caregivers worried about the safety of a senior loved one who might be forgetting food on the stove or neglecting to take their medications,” said Colman Gately of Home Instead Senior Care.
If seniors admit they need help, they feel their independence is in question,” said Gately. “Seniors believe that once they acknowledge they need help, they’ll lose control of their affairs. They are trying to maintain dignity. Unless they feel they can trust someone, they resist change. I believe it’s the fear that life as they’ve known it will be taken away from them.”
The strain can take a particular toll on working family caregivers. A Home Instead Senior Care study revealed that 42 per cent of caregivers spend more than 30 hours a week caregiving. That’s the equivalent of a second full-time job.
Five strategies to help counter a senior's resistance to assistance
Understand where the resistance is coming from. Ask your parent why he or she is resisting. Often older adults do not realise they resisting help.
Explain your goals. Remind your loved one that you both want the same thing. Explain that a little extra help can keep her at home longer and will help put your mind at ease as well. Often seniors do not understand the time commitment of a caregiver.
Bring in outside help. If a relationship with a parent is deteriorating, ask a professional, such as a geriatric care manager, for an assessment. A third-party professional can provide valuable input.
Research your options to find the best resources for your loved one. Contact your local public health nurse to research resources in your community
Respect your parent's decisions. Sometimes you will not agree with your parent's decisions and that is OK. As long as your loved one is of sound mind, he or she should have the final say.
Additional resources that address senior resistance to care as well as a variety of other topics are available at www.caregiverstress.com, a website developed for the education and training of family caregivers by Home Instead Senior Care. You can also call 091 384160.
