“Right lads, this is it.”
We’re fecked right? By this time four weeks we’ll be more hated than ever.”
Have we got the helicopters on standby?”
“Yes boss.”
“Right so. The plan is simple. We need to get those fools to love us for the next couple of weeks before all hell breaks loose. If we get all those Christmas lights across the country turned on soon the bright lights might distract them. And for God’s sake is there any way we can fix the qualifier games?”
Normally I’m sure you’d all be moaning about Christmas coming too early. Hallowe’en decorations across the country have already been replaced with snowmen, fairy lights, and all things tinsel. Now normally I would agree that perhaps November is a bit early to start the Christmas celebrations. But perhaps it’s best we should immerse ourselves in all things festive while we can. Before the bubble bursts that is.
It’s horrible to think, but things could possibly get a whole lot worse. By December 10, after the dust has settled we’ll know for sure how screwed we are. No doubt all our little luxuries in life will get an increase in tax and all the aid and welfare people so desperatly need will be slashed. It was going to be a long cold Christmas as it was. But with the impending budget and no change since this time last year, it’s clear things are going to get tougher.
So before the harsh reality of the December budget hits us I think it’s best we enjoy Christmas early this year. Put the Christmas tree up, buy all your presents, and go for a few drinks. By the time December comes, drink will have gone up, income tax/levies will be so high we’ll barely be able to feed ourselves, and the Greens will probably have some ban on trees indoors.
Besides there’ll be no one here to celebrate Christmas with anyway. With half the population firmly settled Down Under, it’s going to be a quiet one this year. Perhaps we should all just relocate ourselves to Canada or somewhere? Yeah sure the winters are cold, but at least they have proper seasons, and we can all put our Leaving Cert French to use!
In short, none of us are going to be in the mood to celebrate anything after December 9, and a lot of us won’t even be in the country. So let’s enjoy the next couple of weeks before the bottom falls out, again!
