“Don’t focus on the one guy who hates you. You don’t go to the park and set your picnic down next to the only pile of dog s**t." That’s just one piece of advice given by a 73-year-old father, Sam Halpern, to his son, Justin Halpern.
The younger Halpern then put all the father’s pearls of wisdom up on Twitter and within two months he had a book deal. There’s now 1.4m followers on Twitter, the book, ‘S**t My Dad Says’ is a number one bestseller in the US and there’s a sitcom, starring William Shatner, on the way. Who says Twitter is a waste of time? I can see a deluge of books appearing, supposedly based on Twitter messages.
A lot of the comments are too strong for a family newspaper, but he’s obviously hit a chord with many people. Anyone who’s watched people showing off the latest iPhone will agree with him when he says, "Son, no one gives a s**t about all the things your cell phone does. You didn't invent it, you just bought it. Anybody can do that." He’s not a fan of phone messages either. “Why would I want to check a voicemail on my cell phone? People want to talk to me, call again. If I want to talk to you, I'll answer.”
Any parent will remember fretting over whether their child was ever going to learn to talk. His view on this is, “The baby will talk when he talks, relax. It ain't like he knows the cure for cancer and he just ain't spitting it out." His overall philosophy on parenting is, “"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."
He has views on marriage, families, girlfriends, animals and just about any subject that comes into his head, but, as I said, most can’t be repeated here. Even though the book is a huge success he’s not impressed. His response when told about the book is, “YOU, a published writer? Internet don't count. Any asshole can throw s**t up on there." A view that any user of Facebook or Twitter would agree with.
And now the end is near....
What are we going to do next week with no World Cup to watch? No more excuses for not sorting out the garden, walking the dog or any of the other chores that have been put on hold for the last month.
By the time The Advertiser appears we will be down to the final two in this year’s World Cup and I’m predicting a Spain v Holland final. The Brazilians were the shock losers to Holland, but they weren’t as badly missed as some people thought. With what looked like very cold weather in South Africa the cameras had very few opportunities to focus on half naked Brazilian supporters. There was no sight or sound of their Samba bands either, or if there were they were drowned out by those vuvuzelas. These Brazilians found it just as difficult to cope with the conditions off the field as their team did on it.
Mick Jagger seemed to be everywhere. He turned up with Bill Clinton to support the USA, who lost. Then he switched to England, who lost. Then it was the turn of Brazil, who also lost. Don’t tell him about the five-in-a-row. We don’t want him turning up in Croke Park wearing the black and amber.
Courthouse developments
The new court building is an impressive piece of work. They’ve managed to combine the old of Grace’s Castle with the new structure that’s been added to the rear down by the Market yYrd. I’ve only managed to admire it from the outside and will be quite happy if I never have to enter through the new courthouse doors.
I noticed the new piece of sculpture that’s gone up in the entrance area. It consists of twelve heads suspended from the high ceiling with long flowing strands of hemp streaming down towards the floor. It looks somewhat ominous and I’m sure it will send the shivers up many a handcuffed prisoner passing in to go on trial.
Twelve heads suspended from the ceiling of the courthouse: it brings a whole new meaning to the term ‘a hung jury.’
