There were a couple of poll results in the newspapers last weekend. One showed how the various political parties are faring in the middle of the current turmoil.
It was the usual mix of up a few points and down a few points and the standard response from the politicians that the only poll that counts is the one on election day.
The other, more interesting, survey in the Irish Times last Saturday was called the “Men Today Poll.” The paper interviewed 1,002 Irish male adults aged 18 years plus in August 2008 in over 100 locations around the country. I don’t know why they picked the number 1002. Maybe they meant it to be 1,000 and got the count wrong, which isn’t a good sign for the accuracy of the results.
The purpose of the poll was to find out how men think and feel today, a question that has puzzled women for centuries. The survey was conducted in the homes and it claims to be accurate to within plus or minus three percentage points.
Some of the findings are predictable enough, we’re generally content with our way of life and believe it’s more important to have good friends than to be materially successful, in other words the type of an answer that men give whether it‘s true or not. The fact that the questions were asked in the house with the wife or partner hovering in the background, possibly listening in, makes me wonder how truthful the answers are.
In my experience some of the figures don’t add up. For example, only two per cent admit to betting or gambling online and only six per cent visit the bookies every week, whereas 17 per cent claim to read a book weekly.
On the same day as the “Men Today Poll” appeared, the Irish Examiner reported that more than €3.6 billion was gambled in 1,554 bookmaking premises during 2007. Ireland has nearly three times as many bookmakers’ offices per head of population than Britain, with over 400 new ones opening last year alone, all to cater for this supposedly very small group.
In other words there’s three times as many men reading books than there is popping into all the new Ladbrokes and Paddy Power shops around the country.
At that rate the town should be flooded with bookshops and not bookie shops, as is the case over the last few years. Another dubious result is that a lot more men check their weight every month than place a bet. I definitely wouldn’t bet on that.
I know social habits have changed, but I still doubt if over half the male population entertain their friends in their homes once or twice a month. If they do meet up it’s going to be over a pint or even those great male bonding occasions, a match or a round of golf, and then back to the pub. In fact the pub is still the most popular pastime, with three quarters of men dropping in for a pint every month. This is the same figure as those who don’t attend any adult education classes, I see a definite connection there.
The figures on our grooming habits seem fairly accurate. Only one per cent admit to using any kind of make-up and even that figure is likely to drop, now that Bertie Ahern is no longer receiving a make-up allowance as Taoiseach.
There is a worrying trend all the same, with one in five men admitting to regularly using moisturiser. It’s only a short step from there to the make-up counter and a bit of eyeliner or foundation cream. Maybe Bertie should bring out his own range. I believe a heavy dollop of make-up helped him keep a straight face and hide the blushes during the recent tribunal hearings.
I’ve never been asked to take part in any of these polls and I don‘t know of anyone who has. The only time I’ve been stopped is by those smiling charity collectors on High Street. They’re not included in the “Men Today Poll,” but I calculate that 100 per cent of men stopped by these operators say no, so why do they continue to flood the streets?
Overall we’re a highly moral bunch (stop sniggering ladies ). The vast majority wouldn’t avoid buying a TV licence or a ticket on public transport ticket, keep money that they found or buy something that was stolen.
Yes, we seem to be a great lot altogether, and this is recognised by the fact that nearly half of us like looking at ourselves in the mirror, presumably to admire just how wonderful we are.
To sum up, most Irish males are moisturiser-free, fresh-faced, non-gambling, light-drinking, home-loving, book-reading, sensitive sort of guys.
Honest.
