Dear Breda,
Have you any advice on how to deal with my 9 year old daughter? She won’t eat breakfast, has hardly any dinner, and I don’t know what to do. Thanks. Mary.
Dear Mary,
It’s difficult as a parent when all you wish for your child is health, happiness and well-being, and they make it hard for you! I do sympathise - one of my own children eats very little, yet looks very healthy and is happy just occasionally eating small amounts.
Mt first piece of advice, Mary, is to try to not over-react to the situation. You daughter might be going through a phase in her life where she is wanting to think for herself and become more independent. She may want to see and judge things through her own eyes. Sit down with her and ask her what she likes and dislikes foodwise. Then do out a menu for the week ahead with various choices and let her choose. Stand your ground if no food is then eaten – and don’t replace with sweets. Always guide her towards the healthy options!
Teach your child the importance of eating breakfast, as it helps their brain cells to function better and hence makes eating easier. At one stage my son wouldn’t eat anything in the morning, until someone in his class fainted because they hadn’t eaten breakfast – that made him realise the importance of starting the day with breakfast!
Let your daughter know that she is responsible for how she feels. If she eats she will feel better than if she goes to school on an empty tummy. If she doesn’t eat, she may experience nausea and feeling sick from low blood sugar. Explain to her how these feelings are related.
Tell her that you love her dearly, and that it would be nice if she could show some love to herself by eating a little!
You could also go to the local library, pick out a children’s cook book, and start cooking / baking together. That way she sees that you are working with her and not against her!
Let mealtimes be a time of contemplation, peace and reflection on the day ahead. Sit down and eat with her too. Children learn by listening and by observing what their parents do, and not what they say! Good luck, Mary – enjoy the time ahead, and I’m sure that your daughter will turn the corner shortly.
