Mayor Malcolm Noonan seems to be settling in nicely into his role as Kilkenny's first citizen.
He's even bought himself a couple of snazzy new suits for all those functions he has to attend. That seemed to be that until next June, but what's this I see on the Advertiser? There's now a mayor of the county as well!
Up to now we had a County Council chairman, complete with impressive chain, but for some reason he's now elevated himself to the title of Mayor of County Kilkenny.
Is there any such thing? I don't think so and I've consulted two dictionaries, which seem to back me up. Dictionary.com defines a mayor as “The chief executive official, usually elected, of a city, village, or town, the chief magistrate of a city or borough.”
The Cambridge dictionary description is “a person who is elected or chosen to be the leader of the group who governs a town or city.”
There you are. You can have a mayor of a city, town, borough or village, but no mention of a county.
I always thought the title of chairman of Kilkenny Council Council was impressive enough, but no, it looks like they'll have to fit two titles under all those photographs: “Mayor of County Kilkenny and chairman of Kilkenny County Council. “There'll hardly be room for anyone else's title under the photographs. Maybe that's what's behind it.
What happens when some foreign dignitaries come to town?
Can you imagine the job Brian Tyrell will have explaining why we have two Mayors of Kilkenny?
“I'd like to introduce you to the Mayor of Kilkenny.” Smiles and handshakes all round. Then on to the next in line. “I'd like to introduce you to the Mayor of Kilkenny.” More smiles and handshakes, accompanied by puzzled looks.
It will certainly come in handy on St Patrick's Day. Last year we only had Pat Crotty to slave away at the mayoral pumps over in New York. This year we will be able to deploy our double barrelled mayoral weapon with number one heading off to New York or San Francisco and Mayor number two off on a junket, sorry trade mission, to Australia or Japan. The economic benefits to Kilkenny, which I'm sure were considerable, can be doubled with a bit of effort from this double pronged mayoral approach.
The only problem will deciding who is number one and who is number two. We could set up a ring in the Castle Park as part of the Kilkenny 400 celebrations and let them slug it out, using the chain as a weapon. Last man standing can then be crowned Mayor of Kilkenny City, County, Town, Village or Parish. It looks as if Bord Snip could be about to solve the problem, if their recommendation to amalgamate Kilkenny and Carlow local authorities come about. Then we will probably end up with just the Mayor of Carlow/Kilkenny. M.O.C.K. For short.
What are the chances of that happening? About as likely as Tom Watson winning the British Open again. I heard three councillors debating the subject on KCLR. They were unanimous in defending the need for so many councillors. One of them suggested that “we have a Health and Safety Officer in Carlow and Kilkenny, one of them could be dropped.”
There you have it: The choice is between maintaining the current structure or abandoning Health and Safety. Why not put it to the public? I've a fair idea which way they'd vote.
Stags and hens
How appropriate that the wonderful Devious Theatre Company should choose Willy Russell's Stags and Hens for their latest production here in Kilkenny, the capital of stag and hen parties during the Celtic Tiger years.
The company is guaranteeing great humour, top-drawer music and Liverpool accents all for less than the price of a blow-up doll or a few bunny ears, in other words, twelve Euro. I've been to every Devious Theatre show since they were formed a few short years ago. They've always promised “theatre that’s not academic or precious or stuffy, just live performance delivered as live performance should be: Immediate, energetic, engaging and always entertaining”.
They've done exactly what it says on the Devious Theatre tin to date, so there's no reason to doubt their ability to live up to the Ronseal motto again with Stags and Hens.
The show runs until Saturday night, so a visit to the Watergate Theatre is highly recommended. You'd never know, you might even see the mayor(s ) there.
