Well readers, we are getting close now, the gloves are off and the candidates are heading for the finishing line.
Once again we have a scoop, our spies have intercepted notes sent by the McGuinness camp, but more on that later. It seems the grave that the silent Cllr Frawley has been digging for himself since his co-option to the borough council will be finished in plenty of time for June 5. His insistence that all of Kilkenny is wrong about the works on the Parade and he is so right should put a nice big full stop at the end of his political sentence.
Mick Greene lasted just a little longer. Unfortunately Mick’s story — that he tasted but didn’t inhale the Green Party — didn’t wash with the public. He blundered big time on local radio, criticising Mighty Mouse McGuinness after his demotion and then tried to sidetrack the next day, by inviting The Milky Bar Kid Andrew out for a gunfight — bad choice, big blunder.
Ó hArgain is working away, not wanting to suffer that losing feeling, as he did in his home town, but the absentee landlord, Luminous Butler, is determined to keep pace, whatever the cost. Spend, spend, and spend, but will it work? I’m not so sure, voters are not easily fooled, and at least Seamus was around the corner when you needed him, no need to commute.
Roulette Nation Coonan’s teary eyed, grovelling approach seems to be working, with promises of a vote in return for not breaking down at each door. My informers tell me that FBI security men are accompanying him to prevent would-be voters asking him the hard questions. We can only advise you John, that should your toaster break down, for God sake don’t head down High Street direction, walking might be difficult on the return journey!
Joe “Party Hopper” Malone has finally found something to talk about, but I fear, too little too late. If all else fails, he can always join Labour or Fine Gael next time out, as we know he’s not particular.
Joe Reidy and Pat Fitzpatrick were spotted in the bookshop, at the DIY section, looking for a project which they can both devote their spare time to after the election.
Davy Fitzgerald is taking a leaf out of Betty Manning’s book and flying under the radar. He might be within touching distance if he can get a good start.
Marie Fitzpatrick is looking decidedly shaky but with Frawley leaving for home early, she could benefit.
It seems that Darren Murphy and Jimmy Leahy have gone on holidays, haven’t heard a word. A below par canvass could cost them both dearly. At a recent meeting in Langton’s, Eugene McGuinness was voted in as the new Don of O’Loughlin Road, surrounded by almost all the brothers and blisters. Grassroots hears from his contacts in the ‘Continent’, that the late Mick’s votes are going to ‘Euge’ and he should take a seat. The Milky Bar Kid Andrew has been demoted to the backbenches to join his dad but will bring his seat with him. Dad’s sympathy vote will sweep him in with ‘Uncle Euge’ getting a big Sicilian slice of number twos, Sorry Joe, not this time. Frank Kavanagh needs a Rapunzel like lift to scale the mighty walls of the borough council,. Brother Miles is trying to shake things up, but will it be enough or will he be asked to leave the building? Only time will tell.
And finally the scoop of the week: Our spies have intercepted two notes which supposedly originated from the McGuinness camp, the first one reads: “Dear Pat, now that my bold uncle Eugene wants my late granddad’s seat on the county council, my dad and I were wondering if we could please have his seat back. We are very grateful to you for keeping it warm for all this time but we did tell you that you could only have it until my dad finished sharpening my teeth and I was bigger. Don’t worry, you can still be one of the three musketeers and we will even allow you to use our famous O’Loughlin Road chant, all for one and one for John. Thanks Pat…. The Milky Bar Kid”.
The second note reads, “Hi Talcum, Mighty Mouse McGuinness here, the Milky Bar Kid and I were wondering if you could come over to our office some time, we desperately need to grow some long grass and hoped you could help us. There is no need to rush, after you’re elected will do just fine. I think my son and myself will be here for a very long time. Thanks Talcum”.
Well there you have it folks, all to play for with time running out, keep your heads down, skin, hair and other bits of anatomy are about to fly.
